You know those times in your life where you just realize that as much as you want control...your really just not gonna get it?
I'm currently there ya'll.
As many of you know, we recently moved into a smaller space so that we can have more time and money to travel and to also allow us to save up for our own home where the hubbs and I have a tall order.
But moving always puts your life in a odd tail spin for a good 6-weeks or so before you start to get into a new routine, empty out the boxes, purge what doesn't work for the new place and purchase those items that will make your new living space that much easier.
I've also entered a whole new world with my daughter as she's gone for more extended periods of time for personal reasons as well as the hubbs is gone a lot currently for work with him being a forester and it high season right now, so for the first time ever, it's quite literally just my son and I.
I'm not quite sure I would label myself an A-type personality or OCD, but loosing control on our family's regular routine, not being able to get the house perfectly clean and organized ASAP, and doing the majority of this move, my recent art shows and now prepping for our trip to Germany in a couple weeks by myself along side my normal work, errands, home up keep, art etc. etc. really has caused in all honestly some major emotional upheaval.
After some real quality family time this weekend, my husband was bringing my son and I back home Sunday evening before he went back to work in the woods and my daughter was gone for another week. We were on the familiar drive between Boise and our home up North when my husband pulled the car over to the side of HWY 95 and told me to hop out.
Apparently stress and that overwhelming feeling I was keeping quietly to myself was stitched all over my face. Snitching me out to my husband.
Up across the HWY on the other side is a cliff overlooking the Salmon River.
Now the back story to this is, no matter where we're going, I usually find places alongside the road that I really want to take pictures of. And there is this cliff, right outside of Riggins Idaho that I've been dying to do a photoshoot with. However, the problem arises that since the cliff is almost 4-hours away from where I live, dragging someone out there for the golden hour to do a photoshoot has proven to be impossible.
My sweet dear hubbs took my camera and shooed me to go climb.
And so I did.
As I looked out across this water where I've spent so much time driving along side, skipping rocks on it, rafting and fishing, inhaling the sweet cotton wood and mountain infused waters, I couldn't help but come to terms on a small level (not some big epiphany level) with the chaos that is my current.
There is so much going on that makes up the whole of life, that there literally is zero way to control all its aspects, all its elements. To do this, would be to become God, and I for one do not have that position listed in my "dream jobs".
So, I'm challenging myself this week to do a couple things:
• create some order to the chaos of my new beautiful dwelling
• master a new home-made granola recipe I found in Backpacker mag this month
• prepare for 4th of July festivities + my son's birthday party
• take 10-minutes everyday to enjoy my porch + a cup of coffee
• and once a day do one of the smaller projects I've been putting on the back burner for months
By creating a not-physically-impossible to-do list for myself, I'm not setting myself up to fail (or at least fail in my own eyes) and it allows me a whole lot more of wiggle room while still accomplishing things that I keep meaning to get-to but haven't.
While I was climbing all over this cliff, I kept finding the smallest of treasures and joys. A knick of snake skin, a baby praying mantis, another heart shaped rock for the collection. It's these simple joys that always keep my going, always seem to fill me with wonder, with all the feels possible. It's being reminded of this that keeps me focused, and its those moments when you feel like you've lost all control that really put your soul back into control once again.
So, in return I'm challenging ya'll to make a top-ten list of things that you need to do this week to not only keep the house from imploding, or from you locking your kids in the cellar for a couple hours, but will also refresh your soul. Make some goals, and some moments, to help you realize that though YOU may not have it all under control, that that is simply and just okay.