Sometimes, no matter how are you try. No matter how devoutly you pray. No matter how hard you wish...the best made plans just don't work...
Last week I almost postponed the post about my starting my flying lessons in lew of telling all of you that YES! I was in fact finally getting to move to Portland, OR. Finally getting to be back under one roof with my hubby, and finally getting to kick off my own studio in a state I've been dying to live in since I was a little girl. But the best made plans, don't always pan out and on Friday (when this blog usually posts) we were informed that it could take 2-9 months before we had all the legal papers in hand that would allow me to move my daughter out of the state of Idaho and register her for school in Oregon.
Meaning yes, we will not be moving once again.
Moving...in general...is not usually a favorite activity for most of us, and in fact does cause enough stress and struggle as is in it's face value. However, this added level of uncertainty and unknowing of when has put its toll on all of us under our little roof. Well, maybe not the four legged and finned family members, but the rest of us for sure.
When this news hit us Friday, I knew I couldn't post anything for 365, I didn't want to pretend that everything was going perfectly. Because, this challenge was never a guarantee that my life after college was going to be this Hollywood story and a piece of glorious cake. I hadn't even been out of college a month when my hubby got this wonderful job out of state. Something we deemed as a blessing with his lack of work in the state of Idaho. But that all being said, I needed to take a few days, a weekend, to begin unpacking all of the boxes that I'd spent countless sleepless nights on and plan three things for myself and my family.
1: When un packing boxes...I didn't put a single thing back in its original spot. It was like I was unpacking in a new home. I rehung pictures in other spots and spackled the old holes. I organized my books differently, I'm even redecorating the kids rooms the way we were planning on doing so in Oregon. Sometimes, you don't have to relocate to refresh and cleanse the old.
2: I planned a self trip. With both kiddo's out of town for a series of time and the hubby obviously working in Oregon, I decided to do something I haven't ever done (which is a surprise to most given my need to move and travel consistently.) Go on a mini road trip with just myself. I have three pit stops, the last one being where I pick up my kiddo's, and have planned photoshoots at each location. Theres a music festival, a cider house, a couple coffee shops and no promises that I won't buy at least three new plants, all with my camera in tow. Sometimes, you just need a reset button. This is my reset button.
3: Not giving up on my own studio just because I'm not relocating when planned. Originally I was going to open my own creative studio once I got to Portland. I even had my eye on a couple store fronts (personal swoon on all the natural light that was going to happen) but with the help of my hubby who came home this weekend, we purged our one car garage, with zero windows but still the space and capacity so that over the next few months I can begin working still forward in making a space for myself and my clients. I will continue to book creative + photo clients in the PNW and Inland Northwest region and just keep pushing forward. Even though it is REALLY HARD and I keep throwing tantrums that include me yelling "this fu**ing sucks!"
So that's that. Not at all the forward motion I wanted. It now feels like a wounded turtles craw sort of forward motion versus the jack rabbit my personality craves. But, in trying to teach my self to be humble, it's at least still forward motion. And not to brag or anything, but my little abode is looking dang good! =)