365/ week forty-three

 
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No matter which way you spun it, this past week was a heavy week.
Another mass shooting, the largest in recent history. Tom Petty left us only with his music to remember him by. Politics around the globe, America, Germany, Spain...etc...all seem to be in turmoil over huge issues at hand. And all of this is piled on top of us and our already stress filled lives.

Peace. Happiness. Joy.

Things you may be more familiar with being on a Christmas card then actually being things that you have in your consistent life, but are so drastically craved by each and every one of us.

I found this week to be a blur. I was where I needed to be when I said I'd be there, got my kids to and from their activities, cleaned the house, ordered a multi-regional DVD player (that I just hooked up and am ready to go!), and drank copious amounts of coffee. I even made a trip down to a favorite paper store and got supplies for this new creative adventure I'm on which all I'll say right now is it includes loads of illustrations.

But back to my point, I went down to Boise, Idaho this weekend with the intention of some major mom and me time as well as a couple photoshoots.  Last minute both shoots canceled and I was left with frustration and the feeling of failing again. I mean what am I doing wrong that nothing seems to be working lately?

But two canceled shoots gave me instead two full days with my mom, someone whom I've always looked up to and have always been gracious for her insight and opinions. And I got two full days of it. I can't tell you the last time I've gotten two full days with my mom with no husband or child to contend with. It was glorious, wonderful, special, we ate more in two days then we normally would in a week and we talked. Well, I talked, and she listened. She listened for the majority of the two-days we were hanging out at the book store, and at the coffee shops, and at Anthropology, and at the pet supply store, and at Target (you get my point) she listened. She only gave me a nod here, or asked a small question there, all to accumulate to some hard core advice.

This was only yesterday, and the two-day's of mom time is why this post comes late, so I'm not fully sure how to short hand and capsulate my mom's advice, but it was enough to be like "Fine Heather! You want those things? Then be assertive, go get them and for heavens sakes only be authentically you otherwise your failing yourself."

I have been failing myself all to make everyone else around me happy.
The heaviness of the week only came harder because all while trying to digest the heaviness of the current events, I have also been trying to digest a diet of how to dress, what to eat, what to say, who to smile too, a diet that wasn't made for me.

I don't know how to end this because, like I said earlier, this all just happened this weekend, but I'm taking this and running with it.

No more lean green salads for Heather, she's going for the baby back ribs.

Stay true to yourselves this week all! And be the good in your corner of the world, goodness knows we could use a little more of that now-a-days.

With Grace+Guts,

-H